Advice Column: Ask Dog

This is my second relationship with a married man. We have been seeing each other for little over a year. At first, I didn’t know he was married and I even introduced him to my parents as you would a “traditional” boyfriend.

His wife recently had a baby (I didn’t know she was pregnant). My problem is that my parents somehow saw the birth announcement and a picture, and they now know that my boyfriend is married and has a son with someone else. My parents are furious!

My dad threatened my boyfriend; telling him, that he would talk to his wife if he didn’t stop seeing me. It’s been almost two weeks now and he’s not responding to emails, text messages or phone calls.

How can I convince my boyfriend that I’m fine with it?

That you are fine with what? That you are fine with being the spare-hole to a married man with a new baby? I can’t see how that’s good for anyone…

The only way something like this becomes rewarding for you, is if you start charging by the hour.

He was not your “untraditional boyfriend”… He is a husband and a father…

You were not his “girlfriend”… You were merely an option to jerking off… He has already looked in to, and found, less problematic options.

All that sweet talk he delivered when you lay naked and panting, was just to make sure your dumb ass would be ready next time he needed your services.

Find yourself a real boyfriend.

- Dog

In October, my college girlfriend ended our relationship by email within a week of our year anniversary, my longest relationship to date. She said a lot of stuff about us living too far away (30-minute drive) and that she needed time to be alone.

Not three weeks later, she was dating some other guy, and even had the Facebook status to prove it.

I never contacted her after the first month of being broken up. When I got the email, I called her and told her how much she meant to me, but she insisted that the distance wasn’t working, and that she needed to be alone. A week or two later, I called to say hello because I was feeling pretty low (I didn’t tell her that) and she got off the phone pretty quick. I never contacted her since, because I knew that would only be bad for me.

I’ve been doing everything to get over it; taking her number out of my phone, getting rid of anything she gave me, or mementos of the relationship, even removing her from my Facebook friends so that I didn’t have to be aware of what she was doing.

But yet I’m having a hard time forgetting her. I’ve gotten to a point where I know that if she wanted me back, I’d even say no to her, because I see now that it wasn’t like the relationship was working so great by the time we broke up. So it’s not like I feel like she was the one for me. But I can’t forget the good times, and I can’t forget the way she just left me like that. I’ve been on a few dates since the breakup, but I didn’t enjoy them.

I’ve done everything to start living my own life and forget about her (I’ve been good enough to not even try to get in contact with her since the break-up), so why am I still dwelling on it? It’s been almost eight months!

I feel like I need some sort of closure; I want to badly to tell her how she hurt me by dumping me so coldly and lying to me. But I feel like it would be a bad idea to call her up just to say that.

Let me count the ways in which you are better off without this girl…

1. Timing the break-up to an anniversary is just incredible weak. She had ample time to end the relationship. (She is inconsiderate and selfish).
2. A 30-minute drive is not a long-distance relationship. That is almost like being neighbours, in any metropolitan area. (She is lazy and dumb).
3. She saying that she needs “time to be alone”… does in reality, translates to “please don’t bug me; I’m already working on this other guy”. (She is a cheat and a slut).
4. Email break-ups are laughable. (She is cowardly and pathetic).
5. She feeling the need to advertise her boyfriends on Facebook is sad… (She is immature and needs a hobby).

The facts are…  She was already working on that other dude before even breaking up with you… Sooner or later, the other dude will also get to experience her weak-arse excuses and blame games.

You’ll get closure when you have a new and much hotter girlfriend’s legs wrapped around your head.

Give it time… Go out with your friends and meet some new people. You will be hard-pressed to find someone “weaker” than this ex-girlfriend. When you stop moping around the house and start meeting people, you will also start remembering the times when she bugged the hell of you…

Really… your girlfriend laying naked, sweaty and panting in your bed, was not your whole relationship. It wasn’t…

This might also help you: http://www.askdog.com/2008/08/11/how-do-i-get-over-my-ex-girlfriend/

Good luck!

- Dog

Okay, so I’ve been juggling two guys, let’s call them Bob and Bill.

Bill has loved me for 2 years and we have been an on-and-off couple for the past year. I really like him. Recently we broke up, because we had problems.

Bob on the other hand has liked me the same as Bill – for 2 years. After Bill and I broke up, I went out with Bob. Unfortunately, he broke up with me, because he said I wasn’t putting enough effort into our relationship.

I think I still love Bill, but Bob is different you know?

I have no clue what to do! I’m single right now and they both want me back… Which of my old boyfriends should I choose?

Help?

Yes…

1. Don’t drink or do drugs.
2. Practice sexual abstinence.
3. Read books.
4. Develop a hobby to keep you busy.
5. Find a dude named Burt in a year from now.

- Dog