I often dream of court jesters and nights. One time I dreamt about driving a race car in the 1950’s.
Do dreams indicate past lives?
No, they are only dreams… I once dreamt I was bowling pin being smoked by Angelina Jolie… I’m pretty confident that I wasn’t a bowling pin a previous life.
However, your question indicates that you should probably be medicated.
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- Dog
My boyfriend call me “doll”. It was cute the first ten thousand times, but it’s seriously getting on my nerves now. It’s also very 1950’s, isn’t it?
I’m 19 and I’m not sure I’m comfortable being called doll any more.
How can I get my boyfriend to stop calling by that stupid nickname? I have tried to ask him kindly and angrily and he simply doesn’t care!
It could be worse: “grease jar”, “soup hole” and “mud ditch” are much worse.
As for asking him to stop… You are going about it in the wrong way! Ask him to kindly stop and also keep your clothes on and your legs closed for a couple of weeks.
I’m sure he’ll start listening when his balls starts talking to him also.
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- Dog
Why hasn’t my new girlfriend put out yet? It’s been almost a month already and I still haven’t boned her!
What the hell is the matter with her?
There could be all kinds of reasons why she isn’t putting out:
Another more far-fetched reason: she simply isn’t ready because she doesn’t know or trust you that well yet.
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- Dog
Both my son and my daughter are currently unemployed. Yes, they are students but that is getting pretty old… My son is barely literate to tell the truth. They have no job skills and no work experience… My wife still babies them no end. She even cleans their rooms and does their laundry!
I don’t know what to do. They don’t seem to have any ambition to get a job and their mother enables that.
Dog, my daughter is eight and my son is almost five…
What can I do to about kids and their laziness?
As a father myself, and being in a similar situation… I can relate!
The trick is to put them to work when you wife isn’t around… Really, what could be more important than enforcing a proper work ethic? When you are alone with them — teach them that hard manual labour can be both rewarding and educational!
Here are a couple of ideas for you to consider:
There are all kinds of wonderfully educational and useful things that can be done around the house. I’m sure your kids will cry and whine like they always do when asked to carry out a chore, but I’m pretty sure they will thank you later on in life!
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- Dog
My boyfriend of 8 years has cheated on me many times and he even has two babies with two other women (he doesn’t see them anymore). Now I’m pregnant.
What to do about his affairs now that I am pregnant?
What to do? It’s a little bit too late now, isn’t it? You should have kept your legs closed while walking as far away from him as possible! What did you think you would accomplish by getting pregnant? Slow him down? It’s not going to happen after 8 years — he’s set in his ways.
The other two kids that he doesn’t bother with didn’t make you clue in to the fact that he is a complete loser? Getting pregnant with that man was an incredibly stupid thing to do.
What to do? How about you prepare yourself for the time when he dumps your dumb ass?
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- Dog
Can I get pregnant if my boyfriend leaks?
It’s not a lot… just a little bit? It’s drops at most.
It all depends where your boyfriend is leaking from… If it’s any other place than his penis — don’t worry!
However, anything coming out of his penis during any kind of sex act (no matter how twisted or seemingly innocent) might cause your hips to swell and make you want to eat a lot of ice cream…
Guys leak… It’s what guys do!
Leakage out of a penis is not good if you want to avoid passing 7-12 pounds of human flesh out of your vagina. If he’s leaking from anywhere else — simply ask him to wipe himself!
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- Dog
I think I have a crush on my cousin! She is the same age as me (16) and is very beautiful, and has big boobs that I would like to make mine. I’m dying to kiss her and make out with her.
She seems very interested in me too. From what I understand, it’s legal to marry your cousin in the UK, so it should be ok for us to date, right? My mom and dad are also cousins so I don’t think they would object to us being together.
Why would it be bad to date my cousin?
Well, it’s frowned upon because copulating with and marrying your relatives might result in balloon-head babies. As your mom and dad are cousins, you could potentially add to the inbreeding to the point where you produce a “George W.”
Why would you go for a blood relative where there a millions of females out there? It’s not right or cool to go for a cousin.
Have a cold shower to cool down your raging hormones.
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- Dog
My boyfriend wants to give me a golden shower but I’m not sure. Can urine be dangerous in any way? I’m not sure about this at all…
Supposedly a healthy person’s urine is sterile.
“Boyfriend giving me a golden shower” sounds better than “boyfriend pissing on me”… However, they both involve him disposing of his body waste on you.
Never have I heard or read anyone say: “Nothing says ‘I love you!’ like someone peeing on you…” Sure, some people do freaky stuff but it doesn’t necessarily make it a brilliant idea.
No matter what he tells you, this act is not a sign of affection. Have you asked yourself why he feels the need to humiliate you?
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- Dog
My sister is a complete slut. She has sex with everyone!
The whole town knows who she is, where she works, and all that. People have also started to point their fingers at me (hey, isn’t that the brother of…)
I don’t like it!
How do I stop the slut from making an ass out of herself?
Tell her what people are saying… If that doesn’t make her slowdown (coming from a brother) your only other option is to wait until she gets pregnant and moves out of town with a guy that owns a clean flatbed truck.
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- Dog
Why can’t I get an erection after I drink alcohol? It supposedly happens a lot when you drink?
The other night I had 5 or 6 beers — only enough to give me a small buzz. Still I was unable to perform!
The chick I was with says it happens to all guys. It’s probably true, but why does it happen after only a couple of beers?
This is serious! In fact, you have a serious handicap! Alcohol is one of the best ways to “help” relationships along… You holding your liquor like a schoolgirl is not going to help you contract venereal diseases or get revolving door-chicks pregnant. It will also prevent you from becoming the cool guy with the strange speech impediment.
No, sorry, it doesn’t happen to all guys! It’s you… She was just being nice to you! Serirously consider marrying her… She got naked for nothing and didn’t snap your neck! Wow! I guess she wasn’t Canadian, eh?
Wait until you are bedding 40-year-olds… If the little guy doesn’t perform, you might just get killed in your sleep and buried in the backyard.
If liquor is handicap for you… Don’t drink!
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- Dog
