Why do people bother to get married?
People will eventually get tired of the old bar scene. Getting drunk and talking to someone with vomit on their shoes is only interesting for so long… And hookers no matter how cheap, are still an expense.
Mothers eventually die, and guys will need someone to do their laundry for them. Marriage eventually becomes the only option if you can’t afford a maid.
Why do people get married? Hmmm… because it’s convenient?
- Dog
Is it true that guys assign names to their penises? Why?
Because a man’s penis is important to him!
Of all the things import in the world for any given man of any creed… Listed in the order of importance:
Especially note that wife comes before God!
- Dog
One could almost say that I’m addicted to the girl I want. The situation where we met was very awkward, I snuck out of my house at 12:30 at night, and I went to go see her. I took a big ladder to climb up to her window, and as I was climbing, someone must have heard or seen the ladder and called the police. The police showed up at her house and said they think someone is robbing her apartment (in which she lives with her mom), so they searched it and found me.
Now I think she hates me, and doesn’t want to speak to me again! How do I get this girl to at least listen to me?
Where’s the part of your story where you are afraid to bend over to pick up a bar of soap in the prison shower? Here’s the deal: Ladder = Nutball — Leave the poor girl alone!
- Dog
Is it true that you go blind if you masturbate a lot?
Yes, but only if you accidentally poke yourself in the eye while doing it. It might also happen if you are a catholic with a wild imagination… and a very weak mind.
Ok, it might also happen if you do it to a scrambled cable porn channel.
Other than that… Nah, not really.
- Dog
A couple of weeks ago I got home from the pub after been out drinking with my mates, and I passed out naked on my kitchen floor. When I woke up many hours later, my Rottie (Rottweiler) looked very pleased with himself.
It is possible that my dog had his way with me while I was passed out? Heck, I have seen my dog being “frisky” and he’s bigger than I am!
I think you have a really wild imagination… And I think you need to settle down a bit, and perhaps find yourself a girlfriend. Having erotic fantasies about your dog is very disturbing, to say the least.
Unless, you were out cold with your ass up in the air… I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If you were able to walk when you woke up: don’t bother punishing the dog, as it was all in your head.
- Dog
I’m 16 and really hot for my football coach’s wife (30-something). I know, I know… It sounds stupid… But I can feel her eyes on my crotch when we practice.
Do you think I could get it on with this older woman?
Do you have a death wish? You could easily become a stain on the bottom of a shoe of a real man, if you cross the “wife line”. Kid, unless she is resting her chin our your cup: she’s just looking at some cute children sweating, and being awkward.
You are 16-years-old — you are all but a child… Concentrate on your quarterback’s balls instead.
- Dog
I’m not sure what to make out of this website… Do you hate women or are you gay? The truth for ones please!
I don’t hate women, I think all men should have one…
No, I’m not gay. Nor have I been in to gay experimentation (walked in to a gay bar and self medicated myself with a handful of roofies, while only wearing a pair of pink Crocs).
Don’t strain yourself trying to ‘figure’ out this website… It is simple: visitors ask questions — I answer them. If you like to read the things here… you will be back. If not, enjoy the rest of the Web.
It really is that simple!
- Dog
My friends say that I suck at poker because I have “tells”… I know that I start sweating more, and that I get more agitated and more nervous, when I’m dealt something good.
How can I work on my poker tells?
Here’s the thing… Poker is all about reading body language, speech and betting patterns. This is why the weaker players (poker hoes) of the pro circuit try to get a half-arsed up by wearing sunglasses, hats and hoodies… But really, these tactics are for the weak and feeble-minded…
The way to eliminate poker tells is to seem agitated and pissed off all the time! Ok, so how you do you that if you suck at poker? Well, it’s actually quite easy, and cheap! Place a tight elastic band around your nut sack, or sit on a Barbie doll: the agony on your face will disguise any, and all, tells!
You are most welcome! Send me a cut!
- Dog
I always end up buying everything around the house on my own. My fiance doesn’t seem to care about any of it! How do I get him to come shopping with me?
Why does he need to come with you? I’m sure he has more important things to do? Call up some girlfriends to go shopping with instead. There’s no need to neuter your fiance before you are even married.
Here’s a secret: he doesn’t care what the bed linens look or feel like! He will be happy by simply having something to crawl under when he gets home from the pub. Plastic container, towels and salad bowls — they are all the same: just pick something.
You won’t be staying married for very long if you keep bothering your man with insignificant shit.
- Dog
Why do guys watch porn?
Because of frolicking naked women, or men (if you are in to left-handed batting). It is also cheaper to watch porn than to buy a good quality telescope in order to check out that freaky Hungarian couple across the street.
However, the main reason is that it involves nakedness and women, without a big dinner and bar tab.
- Dog
