Any ideas what can be done about my wine induced dizzy spells?
I often get dizzy after drinking four or five bottles of wine. One more than one occasion I have fallen in to our china cabinet. Also, I have lost count of how many times I have walked through our French doors without opening them first. No only that, my wife says that I snore like a T-Rex during the nights of my dizzy spells.
I get extremely crabby unless I have my wine, and my wife is becoming increasingly flustered by me drinking the stuff. She is now threatening to kick me out of the bedroom unless I get my “act together”. Whatever that means?
I really like our king-size bed, and I want to sleep in it.
Any ideas what can be done about my wine induced dizzy spells?
One of the side effects of bountiful consumption of alcoholic beverages is a dizzy spell, and there is nothing you can do to avoid them. What you can do however is to avoid the damaging consequences of them. There are all kinds of things you can do to avoid toppling over:
- A sturdy walker will keep you upright at all times. The initial investment might seem a bit high, but it will pay for itself very quickly with the money you will be saving in broken china and French doors.
- Walking is overrated! With a bit of practice you will be able to crawl faster than when transporting yourself standing up. The forward momentum might not be as high as when walking, but you will be able to make it from point A to B in a straight line.
- Many people that have this inflection end up getting a large dog that they can hold on to, such as a St. Bernard, Rottweiler or Mastiff. These dogs are even strong enough that they can be trained to drag you to the bed if you become unconscious, or fall asleep somewhere where you shouldn’t have.
The snoring can be taken care of with routine nasal surgery or even easier, with a “180-degree displacement tactic” — sleep with your head at the bed’s footboard! It doesn’t have to be an inconvenience if both you and your wife wash your feet regularly. This simple solution can lower the noise level your wife hears by as much as 73 percent!
If you absolutely have to sleep the right way around, and can’t afford the surgery: try scuba gear, a Darth Vader helmet or an insulated cardboard box. These things, even though too uncomfortable to sleep in for some, can turn snoring in to a deep wheezing sound. Many women find this sound to be comforting; a few even find it to be exciting, or even erotic!
- Dog
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