Any advice for his big sorry ass?
When I married my husband ten years ago he was fit and healthy. In our ten years of marriage he has grown from a trim 155 pounds to a huge 350 lbs. Given that he is just 5′-4″ in height, saying he is really tubby is an understatement…
If I say anything about his weight he will sulk and order himself a big party pizza with a cheese crust. He will eat it all, including the greasy delivery box! His employer told him they are worried about his health — sulking, he called in sick for two weeks. While he was at home he ate practically non-stop. (He did take breaks while I went to the store to buy more food).
When he first started having significant weight gains I thought he would eventually realize he has to loose weight. That hasn’t happened yet. Having seen even fatter people on TV shows like Jerry Springer, Montel, and Maury, I now worry my hubby may never stop until the gluttony kills him. I find the whole situation very depressing.
Do you have any advice that can bring me hope?
Any advice for his big sorry ass?
It’s a miracle that he’s still alive! Maybe it’s all the pizza boxes he has been eating? Supposedly cardboard is high in fibre content…
Anyways, then only way to “pork down” is to exercise! Burning more calories than you shove in to your face is the only way to lose weight… Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to motivate someone to get off his or her ‘jigglies’ and start moving around. But I’m sure I can help…
The thing is that when a person has had your husband’s kind of extreme weight gain they can’t just go out and start jogging, as they would risk knee and back injuries, or worse: a heart attack! You are blessed for living in Quebec City as you always have lot of snow up there! There are all kinds of wonderful exercises that can be done in a winter wonderland! These should be easy enough for your husband to start with, and not risk any injuries:
Tobogganing is a fun winter activity that is great exercise at the same time… Push your husband in to a toboggan, and tie him to it. Pull him too, and up and big hill (he fighting to get out of the restraints will be a great warm-up for him!) Once you get him up there, aim him away from home and kick him down the hill… His weight should take him a great distance… His weight will also make sure the toboggan will break when it hits a tree, rock or what have you, thus releasing his restraints… Without a shadow of a doubt he will be furious, which should ensure a brisk, calorie burning walk home for him.
Skating is fantastic as it exercises your whole body! When you husband is taking a nap, lace him up! Tie him to a long rope, and wait for a large truck to come by your house and attach the other end of the rope to it! Do make sure that your husband can be dragged through the house, and on to the street unobstructed! It can be quite painful getting pulled through some French doors, over a hot stove, and through a bay window… He should have hours of calorie burning fun skating behind the truck before getting discovered!
There is nothing more exciting and fast paced as Luge! Unfortunately Luge doesn’t burn all that many calories… unless you can make someone go up the track instead of sliding down it! Get your husband on a Luge sleigh at the bottom of the course, and cover him from head to toe in bacon grease (tell him it’s a treat!) and then release some hungry Rottweilers… He will make it to the top of the course and burn thousands, upon thousands of calories in the process!
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