How long should I wait for him to propose to me?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now — we are both 23 years old. I think we should get engaged within a year’s time and have expressed this to him. He feels that we are not ready and that we need to iron things out in our relationship before we are ready.
Our relationship has all the key elements for a great marriage from both our perspectives: We share the same goals and views and love each other a great deal, and we have said from the beginning that we want to marry one another in the future.
However we are both fairly stubborn and outspoken, which leads to petty arguments and this puts a strain on our relationship quite often. This really bothers him, more than it bothers me. We have made an effort to put an end to this silliness and it has worked for a while now. I think this issue we have can easily be overcome and I can see past this but he says he needs to make sure this a non-issue for when we make the “ultimate” commitment.
I cannot determine if this is truly the case or if he is using it as an excuse for why he isn’t ready to marry me. He is very much into hanging out with friends and having fun all the time. I fear he hasn’t matured as much as I have. I feel we should be married and still be able to do that kind of stuff together, and separately.
Am I being too harsh and jumping the gun? When should I decide enough waiting is enough waiting, and find someone who is comfortable enough to be with me forever? How long should I wait for him to propose to me?
You guys are 23 years old… You have known each other for 4 years… Hardly optimal circumstances when viewed statistically. Heck, my aunt uses a toothbrush that’s 4 years old… My brother has toe nail clipping on his bathroom floor that are 4 years old… How about some perspective, child?
Maybe you should ask yourself why you are obsessing about marriage? The ring, romantic wedding and stunning honeymoon (or a cheap one to Mexico, where you both have the shits for 4 weeks), and all the attention you will be getting during that short time, will wear off. And you will be back to where you are right now: a totally confused child that doesn’t have a clue about life.
If you can’t make work what have right now — what makes you think a wedding will change anything? The only difference is that the wedding will be more expensive to do, and more expensive, and complicated to undo if one of you realizes that it was a horrible mistakes.
How about enjoying the ride — enjoying life — enjoying him… If you can’t do that without a ring on your finger, your marriage is a doomed as a sealpup on the ice of a Canadian hockey rink.
You asked: “How long should I wait for him to propose to me?” Well, here’s the thing… You don’t have to wait for anything… If you are not getting what you want: move on! Also, if you are simply looking to push out 8-12 lbs. through your vagina — get a pet instead, as it’s much less painful, and it’s also cheaper than a baby.
- Dog
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