Advice Column: Ask Dog

How do I keep my woman for a long time?

There are only two options: freezing or embalming…

If you mean how to keep a woman in a relationship for a long time… There is only one option: realize, and resign to the fact that she is the boss, government and your Goddess — all rolled in to one.

You are simply the dude… Your only job is to keep her happy. When she is happy — you won’t be miserable, or punished.

- Dog

Possibly related advice

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3. Should I have kinky sex with this woman even though she is ugly?
4. How do I get my boyfriend to treat me like a woman?
5. What is the difference between man and woman?