Is it ok if I jerk off my friend?

Is it ok if I jerk off my friend? He is not gay and I’m not gay, but as I also have a penis, so I know how it works.
What do you say?
It’s ok, you have my permission… As you know… I have the power to stop people’s sexual urges. To be be safe, don’t do it while: driving, skydiving, playing with superglue, using a nail gun or regular gun, feeding crocs, airbrushing a BMW, performing a liposuction, or horsing around with a broken bottle.
Other than that — have fun!
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- Dog
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