How can I stop masturbating?
I can’t stop masturbating! I do it all the time; maybe 3-4 times a day on average. I was doing it even when I had a girlfriend (she left me because she found me cleaning my mackerel in her parents bathroom when we were visiting).
I can’t stop! I get really annoying to be around if I don’t do it for a couple of days. At work they think I have a weak bladder because of my frequent bathroom breaks.
How can I stop masturbating?
Obsessive masturbation will you make blind, bald, fat, you will shrink, and your little mackerel will turn black and fall off… Simply handcuffing your hands behind your back would solve the masturbation part of the problem, but this will also slowly turn you in to something that looks like Danny DeVito, and that’s not a pretty sight. You need another outlet!
Dude, it’s always cool to find a hobby to enjoy, but you need to take a step or two back when it starts interfering with how you live your life. That goes for everything: drugs, alcohol, sex, collecting paper clips, stamp licking, watching Riverdance etc.
If you can’t stop — see a shrink!
Cleaning your mackerel shouldn’t be the most important thing in your life, and it shouldn’t interfere with how you live your life. You need another outlet, and you might need a professional that can help you find it.
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- Dog
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