Ask Dog

Is it possible to have sex with a lobster? I always get hard when I eat, smell and see lobsters. I know it’s stupid but it’s true!

I love lobster too but I can’t see myself getting quite that excited about it. Besides, the lobster physiology isn’t really equipped with anything that would enable any kind of human sex acts (no matter how twisted).

Your best bet is to do what other lobster lovers do — do a lobster roll. Here’s a great recipe:

1 (2 1/2 pound) live lobster.
1/2 medium cucumber, peeled, seeded and finely diced.
1/4 cup mayonnaise.
1/2 tablespoon fresh tarragon.
2 small scallions, thinly sliced.
Sea salt.
Freshly ground pepper.
2 to 3 New England-style hot dog buns (lightly buttered)

1. Make a salad of all the ingredients.
2. Lightly toast hot dog buns (and apply butter).
3. Spread the buns and fill with salad.
4. Go nuts over the whole thing.
5. Have a nap.

Discuss this question in the forum

- Dog

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