Are there signs that tell me if my boyfriend really loves me?

Are there signs that tell me if my boyfriend really loves me? My boyfriend always acts sweet around me, but he has never said the words, “I love you!” How do I tell?
There are quite a few signs… The most obvious ones:
- When he’s getting a lap dance from a big-breasted stripper — he will insist on calling her by your name when the stripper pulls her thong over his head.
- He takes women’s liberation and equality seriously — he sends you to investigate any strange noises in the house in the middle of the night.
- He won’t leave you alone on Super Bowl Sundays — he will send you to your sister’s or mother’s house, after you have done the beer run.
- Your boyfriend will never bet you in a poker game — unless he knows for sure he has the winning hand, or it’s extremely likely he has the winning hand.
- When having sex he will let you be on top — even though there’s a Star Trek marathon on TV, and there’s no set installed in the ceiling.
Funny thing you need to ask… I though women “knew” when they “know”?
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- Dog
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