How do I write a novel?

How do I write a novel? I feel I need to write a novel but I don’t know where to start! I would love to be a famous author one day, but I fear the day will be far in the future as I can’t even get started right now.
Any advice?
You become a writer by writing… Perhaps you could try juggling, skip-roaping or cooking if writing isn’t for you? Granted, all activities require you to pick up the tools in order to improve…
Not everyone can write for a living, and certainly, no writer is destined to become a famous author.
How about if you write down your story and simply ignore all the horrible grammar and punctuation you will be producing? Then have people read it… Take all their feedback and sign up for some writing classes to correct everything you did wrong.
I’m not sure if that’s the way to go about things, as I’m not a writer — I just write (poorly).
You are completely out of luck if you don’t have a story to tell. Sorry.
I write this advice column because it amuses me… My grammar, punctuation and spelling are not good enough to pen a Chinese restaurant menu, but I do it anyway. Worrying about things gets nothing done… Write!
You have to start somewhere, then it’s “just” sweat and hard work from that point on. Ok, having lived a life, and being a person that thinks, and never stops learning; might also help when it comes to writing a novel.
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