Author Archives: Beerhaze

2010 – September 1 (Fresh, crisp and succulent)

If you are seeing this, I just want to say that I love you more than a fresh, crisp and succulent mango. Also, I love beer. A lot. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see David … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment

Advice: Feels like I am being watched

Dear Beerhaze, It sometimes feels like I am being watched at home. This only happens when my husband is out of the house. I think our dog also feels this presence as he often starts barking for no reason. Should … Continue reading

Posted in Advice | Leave a comment

Stories: The bedroom door

The cougars were tearing at the bedroom door, and there was a sound of gnawing teeth in the walls. What they wanted with him, and why they were so restless and disturbed, the young man did not dare to think. ~ The End ~

Posted in Stories | Leave a comment

2010 – August 31 (Slow painful death)

Death is my biggest fear when it comes to autoerotic asphyxiation… a slow painful death for ruining one of my wife’s stockings. It’s not complicated… People who can’t find happiness need to get married, and see their spouses take the … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment

2010 – August 30 (Back to school)

The best part about the kids going back to school is that we can now go back to not having sex in the afternoons too. Tip! When the doctor’s pills say: ‘One pill every 4 hours’… Try ’4 pills every … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment

Advice: Ruining her favourite panties

Dear Beerhaze, My mom is accusing me of wearing and ruining her favourite panties. She only has my sister telling her that she saw me wearing them. Mom has gone so far as to keeping her underwear drawer locked. How … Continue reading

Posted in Advice | Leave a comment

2010 – August 29 (Sneak a beer fart)

Tip! You cannot sneak a beer fart near a trained cadaver dog even when he is at play in a dog run. Awkward! Trust me. Thanks people! I am home and I have a beer. Supposedly, I am the first … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment

Stories: With anxious eagerness

He was expecting help, and with anxious eagerness; for he walked up and down the room; started at every sound; looked out from the window; glanced at the clock; tried, but in vain, to work the swelling pineapple out of … Continue reading

Posted in Stories | Leave a comment

2010 – August 26 (Spicy chicken wings)

This morning I tried something called “cereal”. Heard of it? Let me tell you, it’s not half-bad with spicy chicken wings and a cold beer. Wow! This whole being up early is neat; it’s like daytime but sooner! Huh! The … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment

2010 – August 25 (Read falling asleep)

I love some of you people! Some of you people I read falling asleep at night… Heck, 2 or 3 of you I would trust to babysit my kids. Nite’! What if I wake her up with a drunken back … Continue reading

Posted in Twitter | Leave a comment